Career Health

Backfired Plans.

Have you ever apologized for something only because you expected the other person to say you didn’t need to apologize?

Yeah, it backfired on me. I’ve been struggling a lot lately at work. My health has been a rollercoaster since my car accident in October, my mood has been unpredictable due to the pain I have in my neck, back and reoccurring migraines, and well, my overall patience has disappeared. My life has been nothing but work and wedding planning, while I do enjoy both, can been very draining. There is not a lot of support in my division now that I am the “senior” attorney left due to a recent re-assignment of the former fourth in our division. I am supposed to be the one with everything together, ready to answer questions, always prepared, ready to go and the voice of reason. While I am always ready to go, I am still learning the ropes, and my physical therapy/treatment schedule makes it necessary for me to cut my schedule short two days a week, which I know others may think shows a lack of dedication, but – honestly – if I did not continue my treatment – my mood would be so much worse because my pain level is already just barely managed by these appointmentubls. I take care of my business. My clients are called, cases prepped, offers made. Yes, there is always more I could be doing but I do not believe in wasting time with busy work. I try to work smarter.

I love what I am doing. I love helping people. I get to help others through public defense work AND Beachbody coaching. Neither are going to make me a millionaire. Both have the potential, if I worked either in the right manner… but, honestly, I don’t know if I am willing to give up that much of myself to reach that level. One day, maybe I will be ready to make that commitment. I thought I was now. I thought I would be crazy goal oriented. I thought I wanted to be a politician and run for a state position as soon as I reached 30 years of age… starting my journey to making my name now through the legal community… yet, I’m learning that I do not want to work  people. I want to be myself and do not want to sell any image of who people want me to be, other than WHO I AM. And, quite frankly, I am still figuring out who I am.

Right now, I am a dog mom.

A lawyer.

A future wife.

A beachbody fitness coach. An aspiring writer.

A Christian. A daughter. A granddaughter. A sister.

An aunt. A niece.

Each day, I am working to improve my ability to serve each role to the best of my ability. Most importantly, I am making it a priority to put God first, my future husband second, and everything else will come after… something I struggle with daily. My selfishness and laziness gets in the way, way too much!


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