Do. Not. Move. Seriously, do not attempt to move at all. Yesterday was the BIG day for me – my laparoscopic excision surgery was completed! And, as the internal numbing agent began to wear off towards midnight, I started to realize that my doctor’s warning “the second day is the worst” was dead-on accurate. For […]
Nearly two seconds ago I swallowed the last gulp of the most disgusting concoction that has ever existed. I am convinced that this was created for the singular purpose of torturing humans into excruciating sickness a mere hours before surgical procedures. What is this devious concoction, you dare to ask? SUPREP Bowel Kit (aka death-to-your-colon in […]
The final stretch before my laparoscopic surgery is upon us! There are only five (5) days between me and the operating room now and I am ready, nervous, anxious, emotional. The feelings keep changing, honestly. The comments of encouragement and prayers I have been receiving from some of you have been so much appreciated!
With the surgery eleven (11) days away, I am starting to worry about going under the knife. I have not undergone surgery in quite a long time – almost ten years ago was the last time! So, I am doing the only thing that I can do right now, and that is to prepare, prepare, prepare!
I am blessed enough to have my family agree to come down to stay with my husband and I for a few days to help take care of me following my surgery. From having this surgery in 2007, I do know a few things about it. So let me list a couple of pointers for anyone going under the knife like me in the near future.
I move through the evening like I am wadding through a pool of thick, mud and find some way to turn on the shower. I lit the candles and turn off the lights. I turn the shower to the warmest setting I can muster in an attempt to feel, anything. And, I stand. I stand in the same spot for what feels like hours, although I know only seconds have passed. I contemplate my life. Why do I have to feel constant pain? Why do I have to feel alone? Why do I feel isolated? Why am I lost? Why I am feeling this way?
The injustice I see each day is astonishing. The number of people who have given up on the system, people… Themselves… It’s heartbreaking at times.
Yet, when I have days I like I had today when I can rest my head on my pillow knowing I fought as hard as I could. I paid every ounce of what I have on the court today (literally).
The best part of this year is going to be starting it with the surgery I have desperately been awaiting since the start of my pain relapse in November. My doctor’s office finally called on Friday, December 30, and informed me that I will be having my pre-op appointment on January 17, and surgery on January 19, 2017. I could not have been excited – you would have thought I was told I’d won the lottery!
Yesterday was not a good day for my pain. I had to leave work early and was lucky to make it home to my husband’s comfort. I got into bed and snuggled up with my heating pad. Unfortunately, as soon as I was starting to feel normal again and went to dinner with the husband – a migraine decided to creep up on me. As soon as we got home, I quickly folded a load of clothes, then texted the husband that I was going to lay down until my headache cleared.
The weather here in Florida has been unseasonably warm and people have not been cheerful like they usually are during the holiday season. I’ve tried everything to get myself into the season. I bought hot chocolate, decorated the house, dressed as if it was cold, and even listened to Christmas music (I am not a huge fan, typically). Nothing seemed to work this year, though. Somehow, though we got to the big day and my husband and I spent it in a very unusual way – we played a computer game together.
Hospitals and first responders report the highest incidences of suicide and attempted suicides, due to an increase in depression rates at Christmas time. The unrealistic expectations, striving for perfection, and constant comparison to others is a recipe for the Christmas blues that causes many to get down in the dumps.