Chronic Illness & Endometriosis

“Why?” The Only Question You need to Ask

Why? I take another pill to numb the pain, to help me sleep, to help mask the emptiness. No longer do I even know for which I am searching – I have given up entirely. My passion for everything has disappeared. My joy is gone. My world and life feels as though I am stuck […]

Chronic Illness & Endometriosis Health

Endometriosis Depression: Feeling Alone in the Pain

I move through the evening like I am wadding through a pool of thick, mud and find some way to turn on the shower. I lit the candles and turn off the lights. I turn the shower to the warmest setting I can muster in an attempt to feel, anything. And, I stand. I stand in the same spot for what feels like hours, although I know only seconds have passed. I contemplate my life. Why do I have to feel constant pain? Why do I have to feel alone? Why do I feel isolated? Why am I lost? Why I am feeling this way?

Chronic Illness & Endometriosis Health

My Blue Christmas: How Missing the North Ruined My Christmas

The weather here in Florida has been unseasonably warm and people have not been cheerful like they usually are during the holiday season. I’ve tried everything to get myself into the season. I bought hot chocolate, decorated the house, dressed as if it was cold, and even listened to Christmas music (I am not a huge fan, typically). Nothing seemed to work this year, though. Somehow, though we got to the big day and my husband and I spent it in a very unusual way – we played a computer game together.