Chronic Illness & Endometriosis

Depression and Endometriosis: When Chronic Pain Leads to Depression

Being a part of the endometriosis community, you hear a lot of stories of women receiving unpleasant diagnoses. Several have discussed depression and mental health concerns, but no one really digs in deep because it’s such a taboo subject. I’ve read plenty of stories of newly diagnosed women, added my “I’m so sorry to hear” […]

Chronic Illness & Endometriosis Health

Endometriosis Depression: Feeling Alone in the Pain

I move through the evening like I am wadding through a pool of thick, mud and find some way to turn on the shower. I lit the candles and turn off the lights. I turn the shower to the warmest setting I can muster in an attempt to feel, anything. And, I stand. I stand in the same spot for what feels like hours, although I know only seconds have passed. I contemplate my life. Why do I have to feel constant pain? Why do I have to feel alone? Why do I feel isolated? Why am I lost? Why I am feeling this way?

Chronic Illness & Endometriosis Health

My Blue Christmas: How Missing the North Ruined My Christmas

The weather here in Florida has been unseasonably warm and people have not been cheerful like they usually are during the holiday season. I’ve tried everything to get myself into the season. I bought hot chocolate, decorated the house, dressed as if it was cold, and even listened to Christmas music (I am not a huge fan, typically). Nothing seemed to work this year, though. Somehow, though we got to the big day and my husband and I spent it in a very unusual way – we played a computer game together.

Chronic Illness & Endometriosis Health

Relationships and Pain: The Struggle to Find a Balance

One of the largest impacts the last five weeks has been on my relationship with my husband. The pain has caused me to be even more withdrawn than usual, I feel guilty for being tired or in pain and needing to lie down, so I start to imagine that my husband is upset with me. My guilt causes this ideation to take root and soon, even if he was not upset before, he is now frustrated from the constant “are you okay” “what’s wrong” “what can I do” questioning, and I am now worn out and feeling slightly neglected from asking him these questions instead of being cared for during my pain lapse.