Why? I take another pill to numb the pain, to help me sleep, to help mask the emptiness. No longer do I even know for which I am searching – I have given up entirely. My passion for everything has disappeared. My joy is gone. My world and life feels as though I am stuck […]
A few months ago, I was contemplating how I would continue life in a new identity as a pain-free person. I thought my surgery in January would be a miracle and cure every ailment I have and I would wake up a new woman!
Having endometriosis or any chronic illness presents a lot of interesting challenges to any relationship, but now that I am married I feel the pressure ten-fold! Since the first moments my husband and I started dating, he knew that our relationship would be a challenge. There was one outing that I think will forever define how our relationship is different than others – the Kennywood trip.
When I went in to have my surgery I knew the inherent risks and had a basic understanding of what to expect. Heck, I was posting about it! I had a previous laparoscopic surgery in 2007, so I thought I was an ol’ pro! Yet, ten years of growth, ten years of aging, and a new procedure make a world of difference.
The last few days I have felt an ability to move more freely and do more things on my own. I showered on my own. Dressed myself. I even drove to the mailbox half mile down the road to get a package! I had no idea what to expect after surgery, really. Yet, when I woke this morning, I could tell that something was not right.
One week ago today, I had my laparoscopic excision surgery performed. During the surgery, the gynecologist discovered that my uterus was heart-shaped and determined, due to my husband and I expressing a desire to conceive within a year, that resection was necessary. This made me look into why have a heart-shaped uterus was something that needed corrected, I mean heart-shaped anything usually means good, right?
On Thursday I had laparoscopic surgery to excise endometrial tissue and repair potential hernias. While inside the super stellar gynecologist also observed that I had a heart-shaped uterus, which sounds awesome but apparently can cause increased risk of miscarriages. So, my doctor removed the septum that creates the “heart-like” shape to reduce this risk. The result of all these things being done is that I am in a lot of pain and recovery is taking a tad-bit longer than anticipated. Oh, and did I mention that Friday was my birthday?
Do. Not. Move. Seriously, do not attempt to move at all. Yesterday was the BIG day for me – my laparoscopic excision surgery was completed! And, as the internal numbing agent began to wear off towards midnight, I started to realize that my doctor’s warning “the second day is the worst” was dead-on accurate. For […]
With the surgery eleven (11) days away, I am starting to worry about going under the knife. I have not undergone surgery in quite a long time – almost ten years ago was the last time! So, I am doing the only thing that I can do right now, and that is to prepare, prepare, prepare!
I am blessed enough to have my family agree to come down to stay with my husband and I for a few days to help take care of me following my surgery. From having this surgery in 2007, I do know a few things about it. So let me list a couple of pointers for anyone going under the knife like me in the near future.
I move through the evening like I am wadding through a pool of thick, mud and find some way to turn on the shower. I lit the candles and turn off the lights. I turn the shower to the warmest setting I can muster in an attempt to feel, anything. And, I stand. I stand in the same spot for what feels like hours, although I know only seconds have passed. I contemplate my life. Why do I have to feel constant pain? Why do I have to feel alone? Why do I feel isolated? Why am I lost? Why I am feeling this way?